2 Months ago.
At work
me: when the door is shut, that means "do not disturb", please
my boss(mb)(who is a grown man by the way): why?
me: because that means that I am pumping
mb: pumping what?
me: uhhh... well, you know. for my baby. making the milk. like a cow...
mb: (snicker, snicker, smile, red face) Oh. ok.
1 day later
overheard outside the locked door.
coworker: I need to talk to her, why is the door closed?
mb: her door is closed?
coworker: yeah, its never closed, is she yelling at someone? (note: I have been know to do this but not often, I am not a monster, just a little agravated when grown adults can't take elementary instruction.)
mb: oh (snicker, snicker) she is uhhh... busy.
coworker: ok. well tell her that I need to talk to her.
me: (yelling through the door) I can hear you. I will be done in 5 minutes.
mb: (snicker, snicker) take your time.
cut to today.
In a meeting, near the end, wrapping up. ( I am dieing b/c the meeting was worthless, got nothing accomplished and my boobs are about to explode, or implode, didn't care, just needed relief, sweet relief.)
me: uhhh... so to summarize... oh, who are we kidding, I will email you with my plans to make the process smoother, and an eta on the implementation. Does anyone have any other ideas, that we can talk about for 10 more minutes just to come to the same conclusion of the fact we have no ideas to begin with. (note: yes, I am on edge and aggitated)
mb: Yeah, this was kind of useless
me: really?!! Thanks for wasting 2 hours of my day, that I pray I can get some sort of short term amnesia and never ever remember, it was the most excrutiatingly mind numbing experience and I think I should be paid double... no triple time... for the wasted and lost cells and psychological neurosis I attained in that amount of time, you flubbering idiots. (note: did not actually say this, I thought every bit of it in my head and looked at every person in that meeting and hoped to pathologically send the idea to them.)
me: (for real) well, we can all brainstorm throughout the day and email me with any new ideas. (that I will not use because I could have just solved it on my own, it didn't need a meeting) Are we done?
mb: whoa! where is the fire, I would like to discuss this further after the meeting if you have the time.
me: (in front of 3 other guys other than my boss) ummm... we can discuss it in apprximately 30 minutes.
mb: why? what other meetings do you have going (he has a little bit of meeting envy, loves to be involved in all the meetings)
me: not a meeting, just need to do something.
mb: what other projects do you have?
me: a little something called project pump.
mb: ooooohhhh.... you have to go and pump. (snicker, snicker, oh and another snicker, in fact a round of snickers and red faces)
me: ok. have fun with that.
6 comments:
Don't you think that could be filed as a harassment lawsuit? You're the expert, shouldn't you press charges? Either that or punch his lights out.
BTW-This is Apes-If I sign out of Jerms account it will make me type this over.
Nope, not harrasment, just childishness. I actually am not offended, but more surprised that they get so 2nd grade about the pumping.
Hi Michael Sarah!!! I found you through Amy's blog. I had heard (through Matt Powell, I think) that you had married and have a baby. I'm so happy for you! Congratulations! I haven't seen you for so long, and remember when you were just my little cashier girl.......aaaaaawwwwww, so cute. Glad you are doing well!
Jonna Tonsager
By the way, your son is adorable!
oh michal it sounds like you work with a bunch of monkeys. Dont any of them have wives who have had children and breastfeed, its not a big deal to those who have.....Men....so stupid.
I have an idea for you though, you should just start selling your knitted stuff, then you could quit your job with the monkeys I bet you could do quite well. How much do you want for that hat you knitted Noah? I bet the Pro Shop would sell them there, they are adorable!!
I'm all for Carmen's idea, except she forgot one part...move here then sell all your knitted stuff! It would be great...in fact I know of a perfect house for you...hmmm!
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